Lockout (D-)

DVD Review

Lockout is meant to be mindless action fun. It can be, I suppose, if one truly ignores all aspects of plot and morality and creativity. Lockout wants to be an exercise in self-referential silliness, but it is more a bad movie that openly admits it is a bad movie. Admitting it doesn’t stop it from being true.

Lockout is written by Luc Besson, the guy who created Taken andThe Transporter who is also the guy who created dozens of other action movies that are long since forgotten (Colombiana being the most recent). In other words, it is written by a talented guy who occasionally slips a half-way decent b-movie into the schlock he is hired to churn out. The Internet Movie Data Base identifies him as coming up with the “original idea” and writing the screenplay. I doubt there is an original idea in Lockout, but I assume the events that occur in the picture were scripted since they lack all forms of spontaneity. Still, the database also says he was assisted by James Mather and Stephen J. Ledger (both known for shorts, not feature films), who also direct. I find it possible that one person could have done such a bad job on the story, but it is pretty impressive that three of them could come up with something this awful. Maybe they each wrote a third of the scenes without telling each other what happened in the other parts and then patched it all together as best they could without taking time out of their weekends.

The story is about a guy named Snow who is framed for the murder of a colonel he is friends with. He didn’t do it, but he did take a briefcase which was supposed to be important (before someone cut the scenes explaining that part). Now he is convicted of conspiracy without a trial because it is a dystopian future and something something. Luckily for him, the (US) president’s daughter was on a mission to a space prison to investigate the rumor that it does medical tests on deep space travel on its prisoners. The space station is in orbit around Earth, so I am skeptical as to what “deep space” means, but apparently the president’s daughter isn’t. She was thinking about closing it down because it seems inhumane. She doesn’t bring up the fact that even in the future it is doubtful the idea of a space prison is cost effective. It isn’t like they still don’t still have to pay for guards—there are tons of them walking around the prison, even though all the inmates are cryogenically frozen.

Anyway, she ends up in danger because one of her personal bodyguards starts beating the snot out of an inmate she unfroze because the inmate said he wore perfume, and then the inmate stole the bodyguard’s gun and shot a gas tank, and then unlocked the cryogenic cells so prisoners can walk around if they want. I swear it makes less sense when you see it! Snow is sent in to save her, because they say more than one man would cause her to be killed in the crossfire, and sending in a convicted terrorist as the rescuer seemed safer. So Snow needs to rescue the president’s daughter before they blow up the space prison (since a few of the prisoners took hostages that means it is probably best for all 500 of them to die). Wait, if it is inhumane to test the effects of deep space travel on prisoners why is it okay to blow them up? Being blown up always seemed pretty inhumane to me.

There are two somewhat acceptable parts of the film. The first are the well-executed action sequences that are fun odes to 80s B-movies despite having been obviously edited down to secure a PG-13 rating. It is worth noting, though, that this movie was made with 20% less cash than it took to make Lethal Weapon 2, and that is not adjusting for inflation. Maybe a space epic setting wasn’t the best choice: The cheapness of it all is evident in every frame.

The second not-bad part of the movie is the acting. Maggie Grace, as the first daughter, is not very good; that is probably the script’s fault. Everyone else is great. Guy Pearce as Snow, Vincent Regan as a criminal mastermind, and Joseph Gilgun as a sadistic lunatic are all hamming it up, but that is exactly what is needed for an over-the-top, silly action flick. They are so entertaining to watch you occasionally forgot that everything else is really, really, really terrible.

Some people might be able to ignore plot and morality and artistic merit to see some good action pieces, but in this day and age there are hundreds of movies with better action sequences than this that are of better quality. There is no need to encourage this hideous studio cash-grab by renting it; just get one of the free 80s flicks that can be downloaded 100% legally for free with three clicks of your mouse. One of the best perks of this day and age is you don’t need to settle for garbage like Lockout.