Bad morals, poor storytelling, and an onslaught of vulgarities make this so-called "family film" suitable for no one.
Of the wolves in Jasper Park Canada, Kate (Hayden Penettiere) seems the best of the best. She is not only an Alpha--part of the upper caste in society--but she is athletic, skilled, smart, pretty, and determined to do everything she can for the community. Problem is her no good friend Humphrey (Justin Long). Part of the bottom caste of wolves (the Omegas), Humphrey is a constant slacker, spending more time joking around then doing any real work. Kate has promised to marry Garth, a buff Alpha wolf from another pack, in order to unite the two tribes so they can share hunting ground and stop the imminent war. However things go south (literally) when she and Humphrey are captured and brought to a US national park in order to repopulate. Will Humphrey’s feelings for Kate jeopardize her marriage with Garth? Will they even get back to Jasper Park in order to stop the bloodshed? Are you not interested in these questions and instead wondering how a movie about to animals being made to mate is translating into a kid’s film?
The film, which features Dennis Hopper in one of his final performances, is supposed to tell the heartwarming tale of how true love trumps all. Instead, it preaches that Kate should refuse to marry Garth and just live the carefree life of Humphrey (the situation will work itself out anyway). As uncomfortable as it may seem, in royal and tribal families marrying people off is often the only way to avoid a war. In many cases the princess refusing because she thinks she would be better off with someone else is the equivalent of telling the world to go to hell, since hundreds, maybe thousands, of lives would be lost. In a more direct sense to the average movie goers life, the idea that being a slacker and thinking about oneself for a change is good will have a negative effect if one at all. Of course, a story about a girl escaping from the prison where she is being forced to have sex in order to return to her nation and vow to serve and obey a guy she only met once all for the good of the country seems a little too, um, intense(?) for a kiddy flick. But why did Lionsgate think this would be a good scenario in the first place?
If these faults were not enough, the film is uninspired, plodding through the vague outline of a plot with a few 3-D shock-effects and a laundry list of potty jokes (with a few sexual and drug ones thrown in to boot). The ending, while maybe not the worst of the year, is probably the most lame; of all the children films I have seen this audience of small kids was the least interested.
The only good part of the film is the good music (the wolves’ anthropromorphised howls are quite lovely) and the hilarious Eve (Vicki Lewis), Kate’s aggressive mother.
One of the worst films of the year, and the least appropriate thing marketed for kids since Transformers 2, Alpha and Omega is a must-not-see whether you are six, sixteen, or 106.
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